Hygiene Comedian Gifts

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

Now sanitize the lamp and yell your wishes.

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

"Ohhh...pick me pick me!!"

Chef copy robot

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

Team medic spraying deodorant

"Ooh, you’ve got a little piece of retiree caught in your teeth."

'He's so hip he even used rock 'n roll-on deodorant.'

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

'Excuse me - there's a fly in my soup!'

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

Customers must wash hands after using their laptops.

Ward Cleaning.

"I love you, Ethan, bit I floss alone."

'After this my bath water will never seem the same!'

A vampire lays in his coffin and he has put his vampire dentures in a glass beside the coffin.

Employees must wash hands of all responsibility.

'What did you find in your soup?'

"I like making pastry... It gets your hands clean."

Bath tube with human feet.

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

Remember to wash your hands: "...but not compulsively."

'There's an inspector here from the Board of Health who would like to see the chicken soup.'

Jeff woke up with a disgusting film on his teeth.

Referee trimming boxer's armpit hair.

"Gesundheit!"

'This is one thing you can't blame on me.'