Hygiene Satirist Gifts

Non-Smoking and Non-Urinating End at Swimming Pool

Those nose was always last picked.

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

"Ohhh...pick me pick me!!"

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

Team medic spraying deodorant

'He's so hip he even used rock 'n roll-on deodorant.'

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

Customers must wash hands after using their laptops.

"I love you, Ethan, bit I floss alone."

Ward Cleaning.

'After this my bath water will never seem the same!'

Employees must wash hands of all responsibility.

'What did you find in your soup?'

No shirt, no shoes, no service.

"I like making pastry... It gets your hands clean."

Bath tube with human feet.

Now sanitize the lamp and yell your wishes.

Stuffed animal head falls on man.

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

Remember to wash your hands: "...but not compulsively."

Pull Grandma's Plug...

'There's an inspector here from the Board of Health who would like to see the chicken soup.'

Jeff woke up with a disgusting film on his teeth.

Referee trimming boxer's armpit hair.

"Gesundheit!"

'This is one thing you can't blame on me.'