Sanitation Satirists Gifts

Covid Secure Olympics

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

"Ohhh...pick me pick me!!"

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

Team medic spraying deodorant

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

'Sure you can have another opinion but I still say you are a fat pig.'

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

Department of Sanitation: In Bin and Out Bin.

"I love you, Ethan, bit I floss alone."

"Hey Maurice! Take the menu, replace 'dish of the day' with 'local free range speciality' and double the price!"

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

Employees must wash hands of all responsibility.

No shirt, no shoes, no service.

Energy Drinks

Pull Grandma's Plug...

Stuffed animal head falls on man.

Witch making a brew with Gluten, Nuts, Trans Fats, BGH, GMOs...

Bath tube with human feet.

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

"I like making pastry... It gets your hands clean."

'What did you find in your soup?'

Remember to wash your hands: "...but not compulsively."

'Another upsetting discovery from the world of nutrition: New studies indicate that the air itself is fattening...'