Sanitizer Satirist Gifts

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

The prying mantis,

"Yes, one is a dog."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Flu vaccine.

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

"I'm after the history section."

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

The little engine that delegated

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

Inhospitality tent.

"God help us, it's that guy."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

"All the better to ignore you with."

Social distance queue starts here

"Sometimes I have this awful feeling I'm really a West Side Person."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

Wine tasters...

"Thank God!"

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

'He's determined not to enjoy himself this Christmas.'

'Now boarding all passengers in the middle class.'

'The Human Comedy needs a laugh track.'

Department of Sanitation: In Bin and Out Bin.

Profiles in Courage

'I've got a really important meeting today, so give me something that will get me so drunk no one will want to mess with me.'

'Short brown hair. Very cuddly, good in bed.'