Hilarious Hygiene Gifts

"I've head the soup's not bad."

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

"Ohhh...pick me pick me!!"

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Missing my hair.

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

Team medic spraying deodorant

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

'He's so hip he even used rock 'n roll-on deodorant.'

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

'Excuse me - there's a fly in my soup!'

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

Customers must wash hands after using their laptops.

"I love you, Ethan, bit I floss alone."

Ward Cleaning.

'What did you find in your soup?'

Employees must wash hands of all responsibility.

Bath tube with human feet.

"I like making pastry... It gets your hands clean."

Now sanitize the lamp and yell your wishes.

Remember to wash your hands: "...but not compulsively."

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

Happy Hour legal loopholes!

'There's an inspector here from the Board of Health who would like to see the chicken soup.'

Jeff woke up with a disgusting film on his teeth.

Graduate.

Referee trimming boxer's armpit hair.

"But I can't help it if I smell 'Fishy'!"

"Gesundheit!"

'Ey-up, here comes the boss!'