Hilarious Hygiene Pillows

"I've head the soup's not bad."

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Missing my hair.

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

Team medic spraying deodorant

'He's so hip he even used rock 'n roll-on deodorant.'

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

Customers must wash hands after using their laptops.

'Excuse me - there's a fly in my soup!'

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

Ward Cleaning.

"I love you, Ethan, bit I floss alone."

Remember to wash your hands: "...but not compulsively."

Happy Hour legal loopholes!

"I like making pastry... It gets your hands clean."

Bath tube with human feet.

'What did you find in your soup?'

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

'There's an inspector here from the Board of Health who would like to see the chicken soup.'

Jeff woke up with a disgusting film on his teeth.

Graduate.

"Hello Bob, I haven't seen you since you had a water meter fitted!"

'MERCY!!'

"But I can't help it if I smell 'Fishy'!"

'This is one thing you can't blame on me.'

Outside, my mom makes we wear all this if there's a drop of rain. Inside, she's always bugging me to take a bath!