Humorous Hygiene Gifts

'...Sars virus? - no, he just stinks.'

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

Missing my hair.

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

Team medic spraying deodorant

'He's so hip he even used rock 'n roll-on deodorant.'

"Ooh, you’ve got a little piece of retiree caught in your teeth."

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

'Excuse me - there's a fly in my soup!'

"I'll take your word for it. You don't have to show me your used floss."

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

Customers must wash hands after using their laptops.

"I love you, Ethan, bit I floss alone."

Ward Cleaning.

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

Happy Hour legal loopholes!

Remember to wash your hands: "...but not compulsively."

A vampire lays in his coffin and he has put his vampire dentures in a glass beside the coffin.

'What did you find in your soup?'

Bath tube with human feet.

"I like making pastry... It gets your hands clean."

'There's an inspector here from the Board of Health who would like to see the chicken soup.'

Jeff woke up with a disgusting film on his teeth.

Graduate.

"Hello Bob, I haven't seen you since you had a water meter fitted!"

Outside, my mom makes we wear all this if there's a drop of rain. Inside, she's always bugging me to take a bath!