Humorous Hygiene Master Gifts

'This way I keep the law and don't get grossed out.'

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

"Ohhh...pick me pick me!!"

Chef copy robot

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

Team medic spraying deodorant

'He's so hip he even used rock 'n roll-on deodorant.'

"Ooh, you’ve got a little piece of retiree caught in your teeth."

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

"I'll take your word for it. You don't have to show me your used floss."

'Excuse me - there's a fly in my soup!'

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

Customers must wash hands after using their laptops.

'After this my bath water will never seem the same!'

Ward Cleaning.

"I love you, Ethan, bit I floss alone."

'What did you find in your soup?'

Employees must wash hands of all responsibility.

Bath tube with human feet.

"I like making pastry... It gets your hands clean."

Now sanitize the lamp and yell your wishes.

Remember to wash your hands: "...but not compulsively."

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

A vampire lays in his coffin and he has put his vampire dentures in a glass beside the coffin.

'There's an inspector here from the Board of Health who would like to see the chicken soup.'

Jeff woke up with a disgusting film on his teeth.

Graduate.

"Gesundheit!"

'Ey-up, here comes the boss!'