Humorous Hygiene Master Gifts

'This way I keep the law and don't get grossed out.'

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

Chef copy robot

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

Team medic spraying deodorant

"Ooh, you’ve got a little piece of retiree caught in your teeth."

'He's so hip he even used rock 'n roll-on deodorant.'

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

'Excuse me - there's a fly in my soup!'

"I'll take your word for it. You don't have to show me your used floss."

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

Customers must wash hands after using their laptops.

Ward Cleaning.

'After this my bath water will never seem the same!'

"I love you, Ethan, bit I floss alone."

A vampire lays in his coffin and he has put his vampire dentures in a glass beside the coffin.

Remember to wash your hands: "...but not compulsively."

Bath tube with human feet.

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

"I like making pastry... It gets your hands clean."

'What did you find in your soup?'

'There's an inspector here from the Board of Health who would like to see the chicken soup.'

Jeff woke up with a disgusting film on his teeth.

Graduate.

'This is one thing you can't blame on me.'

"Hello Bob, I haven't seen you since you had a water meter fitted!"

Outside, my mom makes we wear all this if there's a drop of rain. Inside, she's always bugging me to take a bath!