Humorous Gift Receiver Pillows

"It is my place!"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"Shouldn't have, you really."

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

Traffic calming ahead.

'I'd be more impressed that you bought me flowers if you didn't take a job as a delivery boy to get the employee discount.'

I didn't realize our pitch had such a lovely view...

Bagel problems.

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

Hissy-fits for sale.

Fast Food Menus

"I'm going to have to ask you to accompany me to the Police Station!"

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

Tinder

'You're not from around here, are you?'

"When I said I wanted a pet, I meant a dog."

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

Dogs with alcohol collars.

Beer Belly/Vodka Elbow

"That does it, I'm getting a snow blower!"

Chilli Quartet

'I'm sorry, buddy, but I ran out of bandicoots around Belgium.'

'I don't know about you but I spend a fortune on shoes.'

"A birthday gift card? Really?"

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

Gravestone Epitaph - 'One surreal gag too far.'

Nail Bar

Scientist using his microscope to thread a needle to repair his torn shirt.

"Baby's First Book of Retirement Planning...?"

Vampire picking up his blood delivery (Type O, Type A, and Type B).

"It was heaven before this."