Humorists In Love Gifts

'Keep it simple, cupid!'

Polly txt speak

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Alien embryo growing in earth.

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

The First Fire Stick

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

Giant Monster in Bath

"She's a miniature."

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

"He looks just like your husband."

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'No worries Grizella, let me call my 'eye of newt' guy...'

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

'HEY! Shouldn't that be a reef-knot?!'

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."