Humor Enthusiast In Love Gifts

'You certainly picked your moment to propose!'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Larry's used art

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Grace For Flies

Police Feline Unit

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

"Why do they do that?"

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."