Humorists In Love Pillows

'Keep it simple, cupid!'

Polly txt speak

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Alien embryo growing in earth.

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

The First Fire Stick

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Giant Monster in Bath

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"She's a miniature."

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"He looks just like your husband."

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'No worries Grizella, let me call my 'eye of newt' guy...'

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

'HEY! Shouldn't that be a reef-knot?!'

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."