Humorists At Heart Pillows

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

'I've been lucky with men - I haven't met any yet...'

Windup yoga

My Folks, dressed up like Eskimos

'What I want for Christmas is a bigger carrot'

'It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is he died laughing before her could tell anybody.'

"We moved to the sea to get away from the crowd, only to find they'd moved to the sea."

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

I heard you were well sick.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Copycats

Polly txt speak

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

I will study my speling words...

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

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