Hard-working Humorists Pillows

"Young farmers are ALWAYS finding something to moan about, but 18 hours days in all conditions never did me any harm!"

Polly txt speak

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

The First Fire Stick

Alien embryo growing in earth.

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"She's a miniature."

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

Giant Monster in Bath

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

'ANOTHER Shakespeare play?!! Look, all we wanted was the user manual for a sandwich maker.'

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"If we do hire you, will you promise to bring a bag lunch and dispose of the bag in the proper receptacle?"

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

The paperless office sign covered in post-it notes

'Surely they're not ALL still in their offices!'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"