Hard-working Humorists Pillows

"Young farmers are ALWAYS finding something to moan about, but 18 hours days in all conditions never did me any harm!"

Polly txt speak

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

The First Fire Stick

Alien embryo growing in earth.

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

Giant Monster in Bath

"She's a miniature."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

'ANOTHER Shakespeare play?!! Look, all we wanted was the user manual for a sandwich maker.'

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

"If we do hire you, will you promise to bring a bag lunch and dispose of the bag in the proper receptacle?"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

The paperless office sign covered in post-it notes

"He looks just like your husband."

'Surely they're not ALL still in their offices!'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'