Affectionate Humorists Pillows

Love is being close, no matter what...

Polly txt speak

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Alien embryo growing in earth.

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

The First Fire Stick

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"Puss in cement boots"

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

"She's a miniature."

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

Giant Monster in Bath

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

Tunnel of Like.

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

Phoenix

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"He looks just like your husband."

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Barman In Love.