Heartfelt Humorist Pillows

'I'm sorry, Mr. Dillman, but you're seven months behind on your payments for your pacemaker.'

I know you can't forget, but you should learn to forgive...

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

Valentines

Kissing Hands

Phoenix

"I'm detecting no heart at all...which explains your dislike of cute puppy videos."

A heart flies out during an operation.

Heart ailments

Tunnel of Love - LGBT Friendly.

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

A dog with a heart shaped hole in his body

"This relationship is over. I can't continue living in the hope that one day you will mature."

'OK, so you've got the message. You're not perfect. Now for the details.'

Barman In Love.

Caterpillars in love

"As a senior citizen applying for this job, where do you see yourself in 5 years?"

"I know you're a brain cell, but can't you act more like a heart cell?"

"You've been swell and I hold you in the highest regard but you are definitely my last dog."

"This here is a little number I wrote when I recovered a repressed memory."

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Romance

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Tunnel of Like.

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

"There's only the four of us. I hope you like doo-wop."

'I love you, Howard, but let's not jump to conclusions.'