Heartwarming Humorist Pillows

An elderly woman with a heart-shaped ear trumpet

Valentines Day Cats

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

Tunnel of Like.

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

Barman In Love.

"How barbaric! Females should be wooed by colourful displays, not fighting!"

Phoenix

Brian the dog#3 - Brian now realised he was NOT man's best friend.

'I love you, Howard, but let's not jump to conclusions.'

Daffodil bulbs

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"Or...we could suggest a three-way."

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

Caterpillars in love

'For the last time, Butchie, I love you but I'm not in love with you.'

Dating in 2020

Homophone Encounter

"She was a rescue."

"I never turn into a prince on a first date."

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

'I hear they wrote their own vows.'

'Have a drink while I slip into something comfortable.'

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

Surreal Ale Pub.

'Vacuums!'

'A jug of wine, a loaf of bread, and thou - apparently in that order!'