Housewarming Humorist Pillows

"You MUST come and visit our new house... it's an absolute DUMP!!"

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Claus 2.0

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

Night of the Latkes

High security Santa's grotto

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"Ninja bread men"

Hiding the electronics.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

Non-Denominational Carols

Fish snorkling above water.

'Now it fits.'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Workaholic's Hoilday Appartment

King Kongs first christmas

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"I don't believe in you!"