Heartfelt Humor Seeker Pillows

'Your heart is slightly larger but that's because you're an animal lover.'

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

Romance

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

Family members!

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

Barman In Love.

"Static cling."

Unicorn Working From Home

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

Phoenix

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

Brian the dog#3 - Brian now realised he was NOT man's best friend.

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

'Goodness, the potholes are deep this year, aren't they?'

Bear who goes drinking instead of hibernating

Drinking Companions

Shoe repair

Caterpillars in love

Chicken Funeral Planning.

'See, there are no people in your closet. Now, go to sleep!'

'I'm new here...how can you tell the real 'Elvis' from the impersonators?'

Nit and Flea picking 'Next please...'

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

Pioneers of the ancient west

Portrait of Shakespeare smoking.

Vampire shaving cut dilemma.

Meds Toast

"Imagine! In the past year alone, Thomas Jefferson has learned to speak Swahili and play the glockenspiel."

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"