Modern Love Humorists Pillows

"It's our third date, can we look at each other now?"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

Peter

Pop Top Ice FIshing

This man is an island.

"I think it was good for me. Was it good for you?"

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

'The little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home and shopped online...'

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

Suddenly it occurred to Justin that rose petals might have been more romantic.

"It's not what you think."

"'You're the reason I crossed the road'? Really?! Is that your best pick-up line?"

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

"He doesn't have to worry about his preschool placement - he interviews well."

"Lemonade App: $1"

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

"Bloody Cyclops!"

Rocket charmer.

'Put that out! -- the tribe just went smoke-free.'

"How do you think that makes Gail feel, knowing her only dog is posting naked pictures of herself all over the internet?"

'Has this wall got spellcheck?' 'Dunno...ask it.'

"He and I connected physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially, humorously, technologically, and self-destructively."

"You're wonderful, Kimberly, and I want to be married, but I'm looking for a complete unknown."

Hits Needed, please click.

"Prospecting ain't what it used to be."

'It took a great severance package before I agreed to ride off into the sunset.'

Cupid accidentally kills one of his targets.

"Have you got anyone on your books who's desperate and doesn't care what I look like?"