Modern Humorist Pillows

'This ain't going too well, Paddy.'

'I'll send a Tweet.'

Not in the mood for human interaction line

"Prospecting ain't what it used to be."

'Tortoise and the ne'er-do-well...'

"We learned in Sunday School today about how Adam and Eve got downsized!"

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

"You must be my Uber ride."

21st Century Elvis

"So. . . how long have you been vaping?"

"To receive your 3 wishes, please fill out our online form."

Arlo Jones: His Funniest Selfies.

'I didn't know Playboy photographers used picture phones.'

"Bloody Cyclops!"

"Oops, I thought I'd deleted this one, it's a pic of me before the operation."

"She comes with breast implants,a kiss and tell diary and a reality T.V deal."

spare some change.com

"According to this chart, I'm the exact weight for my height."

'He loves his hand-held device,'

'Why do you come here every month?'

Spy with selfie stick

'Well I didn't get any birthday cards, so I've printed out my birthday texts.'

'Sure, I've been following him all week - on Twitter.'

"OK Boomer."

Gotta take you out, kid – You're getting booed off the field on my Twitter feed.

Do you remember your early childhood, Randy? Of course, little buddy. I come from a long line of Randies who have photographic memories. It's an evolutionary trait that enabled early Randies to survive despite being connoisseurs of the female form. "Evolution"? Doesn't that mean some of them didn't make it? Overly long stares lead to nothing but trouble.

"Oh, my God! It's a telephone call!!!" "Rrring..."

Bully accepts Paypal, Venmo or Bitcoin

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

This man is an island.

Pop Top Ice FIshing

"I thought you turned location services off."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Wifi in Hell