Modern World Humourist Pillows

"If you no longer wish to receive calls about special offers, press any key. But not the same one you pressed last time because that obviously didn't work."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

Peter

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

Pop Top Ice FIshing

This man is an island.

'The little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home and shopped online...'

"Amazing, eh? Good-looking, dependable, trustworthy, inflatable."

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

"You can huff and puff all you want. The house is foreclosed and belongs to the bank."

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

"Lemonade App: $1"

"You're not just a number here. You're a number who hasn't been fired yet."

"He doesn't have to worry about his preschool placement - he interviews well."

"I hear Presbyterian is the new Methodist."

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."

"How am I going to put in a new tape?"

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

'Put that out! -- the tribe just went smoke-free.'

"Bloody Cyclops!"

Junk Art

Funeral for a Cartoonist

Rocket charmer.

'Do you remember the good old days when actual dollar bills were dangled in front of us?'

Hits Needed, please click.

"Prospecting ain't what it used to be."

'It took a great severance package before I agreed to ride off into the sunset.'

"She comes with breast implants,a kiss and tell diary and a reality T.V deal."

The Scream take its temperature

"Ahem, if you're planning to rob the place could you please get a move on."

"I thought you turned location services off."