Modern Humor Lover Pillows

"Bummer. Let's try the castle down the road."

"If we can't wake Snow White, we should at least get her a CPAP machine."

Mugger texts: 'Gve me yr fone now.'

"I have only my selfie to blame."

"And remember, dear, at midnight it turns back into an Uber."

Inconvenience store.

"I would like some facebook friends for Christmas."

"I need a companion."

'Brian discovers that 'Slide To Unlock' doesn't work when you've forgotten your locker combination.'

'Has this wall got spellcheck?' 'Dunno...ask it.'

'Am I on the train?'

'If you have any problems with the nose job, take two selfies and send them in the morning.'

"Excuse me, but I happen to identify as a left-handed person and this is a right-handed mug."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Wifi in Hell

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

"Oooh, I know what I want to be when I grow up: Retired!"

Pop Top Ice FIshing

This man is an island.

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

'The little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home and shopped online...'

"Oh my gosh — so sorry! Those were extensions!"

"Could you speed it up a little, the 'Seinfeld' marathon starts in five minutes."

Gotta take you out, kid – You're getting booed off the field on my Twitter feed.

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

"Last night my mom made us watch an old comedy with cary grant. He's funny, but he's no Adam Sandler."

"Lemonade App: $1"

"Hello, police? I'd like to report some suspicious activity. A youth without a phone in his hand."

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."

"How do you think that makes Gail feel, knowing her only dog is posting naked pictures of herself all over the internet?"

'The Streetwise Men.'

"Bloody Cyclops!"

OLD COMEDY vs. NEW COMEDY

'Put that out! -- the tribe just went smoke-free.'

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