Modern Humor Fans Pillows

"How do I google something with this?"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Raised by Dogs

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'Hon, I'm home!'

Tequila Mockingbird

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

This man is an island.

Pop Top Ice FIshing

'Guess who's teething?'

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

'Henry, cut that out.'

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

"Relax, he could just be looking for fun."

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

"Oh my gosh — so sorry! Those were extensions!"

Under New Mismanagement

Sure, snoring is a big issue at our house too: you've seen the size of my dad's nose...

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

Beer Lunch

"What?!"

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

Sawrd Fighting

Clairvoyant - I want to divorce my husband. He's having an affair next week.

'Look, that peasant is eating something -- the economy's on the move again!'

Psycho-plankton.