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"How do I google something with this?"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Wifi in Hell

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

Raised by Dogs

'We found you in a cabbage!'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Hon, I'm home!'

Tequila Mockingbird

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Maybe I'm aiming too high...maybe 'saving for a cool car' is too hard."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

'Guess who's teething?'

This man is an island.

Pop Top Ice FIshing

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

"Relax, he could just be looking for fun."

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

'Henry, cut that out.'

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

"Oh my gosh — so sorry! Those were extensions!"

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

Sure, snoring is a big issue at our house too: you've seen the size of my dad's nose...

Beer Lunch

"What?!"

Under New Mismanagement

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

Sawrd Fighting

Clairvoyant - I want to divorce my husband. He's having an affair next week.

Pastoral Choirs

Psycho-plankton.