Modern Humor Pillows

"Gold....Frankincense....and cash to cover holiday tipping."

Jesus turns water into Vitamin Water.

Wifi in Hell

Will work for Amazon Prime. ?

"My mom follows me in Insta, Facebook and Snapchat. It's only a matter of time before she finds a way onto my work Slack."

'I'm probably not gonna get a 'Like' on my facebook account after this.'

Call Blocker Has Always Been the Tekemarketer's Enemy.

"That's it ... now, can you give me a package number so I can track my order?"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

Pop Top Ice FIshing

This man is an island.

Baby cries into a cellphone.

'The little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home and shopped online...'

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

"Oh my gosh — so sorry! Those were extensions!"

'Baby's got his first blue tooth!'

"Could you speed it up a little, the 'Seinfeld' marathon starts in five minutes."

"Lemonade App: $1"

Gotta take you out, kid – You're getting booed off the field on my Twitter feed.

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

"Hello, police? I'd like to report some suspicious activity. A youth without a phone in his hand."

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."

'The Streetwise Men.'

'Put that out! -- the tribe just went smoke-free.'

'Has this wall got spellcheck?' 'Dunno...ask it.'

"Bloody Cyclops!"

OLD COMEDY vs. NEW COMEDY

Hits Needed, please click.

'It took a great severance package before I agreed to ride off into the sunset.'

"Prospecting ain't what it used to be."

Generational curses: 'Yeah A virus on your PC'

"She comes with breast implants,a kiss and tell diary and a reality T.V deal."

"And remember, dear, at midnight it turns back into an Uber."

"I thought you turned location services off."