Modern Love Humorists Gifts

"It's our third date, can we look at each other now?"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Wifi in Hell

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

Peter

Pop Top Ice FIshing

This man is an island.

"I think it was good for me. Was it good for you?"

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

'The little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home and shopped online...'

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"'You're the reason I crossed the road'? Really?! Is that your best pick-up line?"

Suddenly it occurred to Justin that rose petals might have been more romantic.

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

"It's not what you think."

'You'll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can't be with someone who's standards are that low!'

Gotta take you out, kid – You're getting booed off the field on my Twitter feed.

"Lemonade App: $1"

"He doesn't have to worry about his preschool placement - he interviews well."

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."

Cupid's Arrow Misses, and Dog Falls In Love with a Man's Leg.

'Put that out! -- the tribe just went smoke-free.'

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

"Bloody Cyclops!"

"He and I connected physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially, humorously, technologically, and self-destructively."

"You're wonderful, Kimberly, and I want to be married, but I'm looking for a complete unknown."

'Has this wall got spellcheck?' 'Dunno...ask it.'

Rocket charmer.

"How do you think that makes Gail feel, knowing her only dog is posting naked pictures of herself all over the internet?"

Hits Needed, please click.

"Prospecting ain't what it used to be."

'It took a great severance package before I agreed to ride off into the sunset.'

"You're a pig in bed."