Modern Humor Lovers Gifts

"He's got it all figured out. Zooms his visits with one hand and has Amazon deliver the gifts with the other."

Fashion Cafe I'll not have whatever you're not having

Mother says to Jack to protect himself on way to market

Self

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

Pop Top Ice FIshing

This man is an island.

'The little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home and shopped online...'

Recipes for comfort drinks.

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

"Oh my gosh — so sorry! Those were extensions!"

"He's our new trend-spotter?"

Advent Calender.

'We do have something in Real Estate for an individual who's willing to starve for a year before turning to the office supplies.'

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

Virtual interview.

"Could you speed it up a little, the 'Seinfeld' marathon starts in five minutes."

"You've been a very bad man and we like that. So now, we're going to send you to London."

"Hello, police? I'd like to report some suspicious activity. A youth without a phone in his hand."

"Happiness is more important than money,but it is easier to count money."

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."

"Oh man... there is nothing like a cigarette after a passionate night of 'texting'!"

'Has this wall got spellcheck?' 'Dunno...ask it.'

Imagine the mess the world woudl be in if we didn't have the best executives money can buy running it.

"Bloody Cyclops!"

"How do you think that makes Gail feel, knowing her only dog is posting naked pictures of herself all over the internet?"

'He steals from the drug companies and gives to the elderly!'

'The Streetwise Men.'

'Put that out! -- the tribe just went smoke-free.'

Proposed Site for New Three Storey Mirage

Hits Needed, please click.

'It took a great severance package before I agreed to ride off into the sunset.'