Modern Humor Fan Gifts

"Hello, police? I'd like to report some suspicious activity. A youth without a phone in his hand."

"I've just read your Facebook page and apparently we're broke!"

Surveillance Camera Phones on the Premises.

"No thanks. I'm gay"

Men Behaving Acceptably.

'The Streetwise Men.'

"To keep up with the times, I've had them redone as emojis."

"I'm so sorry. Jose was such a good man."

"And there's one more - Do not covet they neighbour's Wifi."

Wifi in Hell

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

Pop Top Ice FIshing

This man is an island.

"Oh my gosh — so sorry! Those were extensions!"

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

Gotta take you out, kid – You're getting booed off the field on my Twitter feed.

"Could you speed it up a little, the 'Seinfeld' marathon starts in five minutes."

Spinning violinist

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

"Last night my mom made us watch an old comedy with cary grant. He's funny, but he's no Adam Sandler."

"Lemonade App: $1"

"I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."

'Put that out! -- the tribe just went smoke-free.'

"Bloody Cyclops!"

"How do you think that makes Gail feel, knowing her only dog is posting naked pictures of herself all over the internet?"

OLD COMEDY vs. NEW COMEDY

'Don't be ridiculous, Schaumberg! -- They didn't have Burma-Shave back then!'

'Has this wall got spellcheck?' 'Dunno...ask it.'

"The good news is he costs a quarter of what a string quarted would; the bad news is that, of course, he's suffocating."

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