Modern Humor Fan Gifts

"Hello, police? I'd like to report some suspicious activity. A youth without a phone in his hand."

Surveillance Camera Phones on the Premises.

"No thanks. I'm gay"

Men Behaving Acceptably.

'The Streetwise Men.'

"To keep up with the times, I've had them redone as emojis."

"I'm so sorry. Jose was such a good man."

"And there's one more - Do not covet they neighbour's Wifi."

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

Pop Top Ice FIshing

This man is an island.

"Oh my gosh — so sorry! Those were extensions!"

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

Spinning violinist

"Lemonade App: $1"

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

"Could you speed it up a little, the 'Seinfeld' marathon starts in five minutes."

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."

"I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

"Bloody Cyclops!"

'Put that out! -- the tribe just went smoke-free.'

'Has this wall got spellcheck?' 'Dunno...ask it.'

"How do you think that makes Gail feel, knowing her only dog is posting naked pictures of herself all over the internet?"

"The good news is he costs a quarter of what a string quarted would; the bad news is that, of course, he's suffocating."

'Don't be ridiculous, Schaumberg! -- They didn't have Burma-Shave back then!'

Hits Needed, please click.

"Prospecting ain't what it used to be."

'It took a great severance package before I agreed to ride off into the sunset.'

'Could you give me big tits?'

"She comes with breast implants,a kiss and tell diary and a reality T.V deal."

Jesus turns water into Vitamin Water.