Modern Humor Aficionado Gifts

It's sent from a phone now.

Statue Selfie

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Police Feline Unit

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Do Not Resuscitate

Selling lemon latt�

Speed Dating for Turtles

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

Cariactures

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

Faster, Georges, faster!

'Cannonball!'

Here and There Trays

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'