Romance Humorists Gifts

Cupid's Arrow Misses, and Dog Falls In Love with a Man's Leg.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"You really ought to cut down on your scream time."

"Puss in cement boots"

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

'Your place or mine?'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

Always Compatible

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

I think you'll find that I'm easily encouraged. For instance, the fact that the two exclamation points above your head are tempered by one question mark gives me great hope. !?!

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"