Romantic Humorist Gifts

Scenes from a successful marriage.

Cardiologist Convention: 'Our next speaker will be speaking on other matters of the heart.'

'Compare me to a summer's day? In this country?!' (Shakespeare unwittingly insults a lady while reciting a sonnet)

"I love the little ways you're identical to everyone else."

The Goldilocks Flower Emporium has bouquets labeled Too Much Commitment, Too Little Commitment, and Just Right.

Frogs french-kissing a princess.

"Ask me again once your skin clears up." Never propose in broad daylight.

'Chuck me.'

"Oh hi, I'm on the train.."

Caveman Valentine,

"Over all, I liked it, but I have a couple of notes."

"I never turn into a prince on a first date."

'And do you, Cathie, promise to advance Ed's narrative?'

'Have you the Karma Sutra in large print?'

There are times when it's best to stick with the old fashioned ways.

'I hope you're on one knee because the size of that rock is weighing you down.'

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

'So this is your idea of making things more fun in the bedroom?'

Unbeknownst to most people, the game 'footsie' was invented by the Vikings.

"Sorry, but I never get a girls name tattooed, on a first date!"

'Umm, you have a date yet for the hop...?'

'Are you trying to play footsie with Miss Pringle again, Arthur?'

'Why do we never cuddle anymore?'

Snail Love.

"I'm sorry, but you're not my type."

Flute Arm

'Hey, you TWO, GET a Womb!'

'I did think the prince might simply recognise the girl - I mean, just how p***ed was he?!'

'It was love at first sight. My immune system couldn't resist him.'

'Short brown hair. Very cuddly, good in bed.'

'Paul, I think that Jane and yourself might make more progress if you left your boyfriend at home.'

"Cute... But way too young."

'No, I'm not really a handsome prince, but it's a great way to meet girls.'

"Next time, Id' like the director's cut."

'OK, you win, I've stopped playing hard to get.'