Romance Humorist Gifts

'How sweet, he's smiling. He must be dreaming about me.'

'It's will never work out...that's a banana peel.'

'I'm leaving you Gerald for your online you!'

'Do you have to use your sat-nav for everything?'

'Yes i WAS the one who called you out, but no I am NOT interested in a 'quickie' once the chasitity belt is off!'

Another of nature's cruel little tricks.

"I see Fanshaw's found himself a little god digger!"

Man with many tattoos.

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"How barbaric! Females should be wooed by colourful displays, not fighting!"

"You may prefer older women now, but when you're 30, Ms. Rogers will be 60!"

"I always knew you two would be perfect together...or with fries"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"