Relationship Humorist Gifts

"I miss you too, honey. Now put the dog on."

'And this is Ginger, from my fourth marriage.'

A man and woman face each other in profile. A diagram of their brains shows their desires.

"Of course your conversation doesn't bore me...I'm not listening!"

"And just exactly what is that expression intended to convey?"

"You have superior extra ocular muscle strength - how often do you roll your eyes at your husband?"

"Whaddaya say we turn off the television, go upstairs, get into bed and turn on our computers?"

'It's not us, Louis. It's our medications that don't interact well together.'

"An anniversary present? For me? I remembered? Well, thank me very much!"

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

'The opinions expressed by Mrs Latimore are her own, and do not necessarily reflect those of Mr Latimore.'

"Hey, it's not a race."

"By the way, what's your position on some-sex marriage?"

"Your back is killing me!"

'He's the wrong size.'

"Sorry Frank, but I can no longer go on with this charade. Not only am I not your best friend, I'm not even sure if I like you at all."

"There's an article in that paper, all about how married couples begin to resemble one another."

'Darling, we're not going to resolve this issue that way: Talk to me!'

'I'm sorry sweetie, this just isn't working... you've changed!'

'Sometimes I think you're on a different planet.'

'Will you quit hogging the covers?!'

A man and dog are tied to parking meters.

'Our staff is highly skilled mam, but getting your husband to grow a backbone is simply beyond our expertise.'

"Was I supposed to answer? I thought it was a rhetorical text."

'No Longer Welcome' mat

"I assure you, my sweet, I can't think of anyone I would rather have hound me into my grave than you."

"I liked it better on top of my husband."

'You never take me anywhere.'

Woman reading book entitled 'Mad Love' while man is fast asleep, hugging his golf clubs.

'Have I ever told you how beautiful you are when you agree with me?'

'You really need glasses, dear. You're starting to annoy me.'

"I hunt, she gathers, but we always get together for cocktails at five."

"We took your advice and worked things out."

'I promise to love you in thirty six equal monthly installments.'

"Oh, no, it's not a problem at home. We need help with communication on the court."