Humorist Of Mishaps Gifts

"This next one's a sad little number I call, 'I left my guitar on the F train.'"

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

'This is your lucky day!'

Suez Canal Curse

"At least she got it to squeak when she tripped over it."

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

A Not So Grand Slam.

'How was my emergency stop?'

A sporting gent practising for the hunting season.

Freak Accident Specialist

Cotton candy

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

'I've done the washing up - Do we have any glue?'

"OK, now here comes the lava."

"Why is it that the laws of inevitability always seem higher on ladies day?"

"Please—no technology questions!"

"Call the inspector and tell him to cancel today, that something has come up."

"And do you get a shooting pain between your eyes?"

Luck

One of Indonesia's most feared Volcanoes: The mighty 'Kraka-toe-a'.

'He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started happening to someone else.'

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

"And hold the mayo."

'It doesn't work...'

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

'. . . If you need immediate help with the floods I understand Mrs Miggins at No. 9 has a canoe!'

"Well done!"

Forest Fire Hazard

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

"Please excuse our new employee, sir--he used to work in the circus."

"Of all the vehicles in heaven and you had to rear-end his car?"

Two hunters and a near miss

'It happens.'

Of all the days to sleep in!