Humorist In The Face Of Thaw Gifts

'What matter an inch or two of surface-water, if the ice be still sound undernaeth!'

"All natural snow cones for sale."

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

'YOU are fed up with it . . . How do you think I feel?'

The new green legislature requires methane mitigation.

I made snow angels in my good clothes and mom gave me the devil for it!

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

"How come we never have 'Baked Alaska'?"

'It's easy, just wee!'

"I love this time of year."

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

Weather today.

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

Greco-polar wrestling

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

"Don't think of it as getting fired. Think of it as finally being recognized for your incompetence."

"I told you we came back too early...I'm freezing my tail feathers off!"

'I see a lot of that at this time of year...you've got a nasty case of cabin fever!'

"This heat transfer dance had better work. I'm freezing my tail off!"

Plant Closed - Downsized Too Far

'Where is the global warming when you want it?'

A dead Olive found stabbed, in a Cocktail drink

'Van Helsing, I've told you that just Holy Water isn't enough to kill count Snowcula! You need HOT Holy Water!'

It's a bit derivative.