Humor In Retail Gifts

"Where can I find the lefts?"

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

'How much would you take off for cash?'

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

Seven deadly sins store

'SALE! One Million Dollars Per Bike!!' by saying, 'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

"The forty thousand dollars includes a rear view mirror!"

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

'It's cheaper to replace the floor every month than to wash it and risk a customer slipping and then suing us.'

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

"Instead of BOGOFS, I'm going to implement FUCOFS."

Wal-Mart Bank of Canada.

'Why on earth did you ask the customer if there was anything else you could do for him??!'

The 29p Shop

"Well,hopefully we only have to wear them for a week or two."

'He certainly knows how to make a customer feel welcome.'

"If you want something firmer, I suggest you try our flooring department."

Experience the regional flavors of 2163 Pigeonhole Lane.

Do you think Santa will be making a stop at Tiffany & Company tonight, Lance? Sorry to disappoint you, Gloria, but I spotted Santa's sleigh in the parking lot of Kmart & Company earlier.

'That's eleven..!!' ( 10 items or less counter ).

"You got hiking boot in 58?"

Mother Nature's Health Foods

Pop-up shop...

Robbers, burglars and shoplifters welcome! Our employees are trained to cooperate with you!

"And now a reading from the catalogs of Saint Paul."

“Ever thought of changing your name?”

'Unexpected item in bagging area.'

"It's all business-to-business. We need some retail outlets."

'Oh that's actually for here, not to go.'