Humanity Skeptic Gifts

"I don't have anything against you in particular. My disdain encompasses humanity as a whole."

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"God works in mysterious ways."

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

The Mainstream

Alternative Medicine

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"Eventually the leaders of every religion say 'We spoke to God and he wants you to give us money.' ...Every. Single. One."

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

"I totally meant to do that."