Ethical Skeptic Gifts

"You will now open your eyes and have no memory of me charging you twice for this session!"

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'You won't believe this, but even if the vaccine works, they wont give it to other sick mice.'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

The Price of Freedom

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

"Boss... I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever."

"God works in mysterious ways."

Alternative Medicine

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'I don't know what all the fuss is about.'

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

'Are you sure these sprouts aren't GM?.'

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

Data Extraction Social Media Theme Park

"So he said, 'Where's your moral compass?' So I ate him."