Ethical Scientist Gifts

"You're research is very promising. It's just a shame you're afraid of mice"

'3.45 pm: ignoring its squeals of protest, I have injected the lab rat with the growth hormone drug.'

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

'Introducing the snake, the mice complete the maze 5 to 7 times faster.'

'They're not testing drugs on us - they're testing us. We're transgenic.'

Monkey Research.

'I'm proud to say, we do TEST on animals!'

Environmentally Sound Management of Biotechnology.

Ethics exam cheater.

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Squeezing the Free Press.

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

"What did you download at school today?"

'You won't believe this, but even if the vaccine works, they wont give it to other sick mice.'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

"Boss... I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever."

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

The Price of Freedom

"Moulting"

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

'Bad man. . . you are a Bad Man!'

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"And here is where we started putting profits before people."

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.