Scientific Ethics Enthusiast Gifts

'Someone calling himself a bio-ethicist is here to see you.'

Ethics exam cheater.

Squeezing the Free Press.

Others will fight for you

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"Moulting"

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

'You want a nurse present? -- Are you discriminating against me because of my gender?'

"I have to admit Dick Cheney makes a strong argument for torture. But I still think torturing him would be wrong."

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

'It's not the same. I was caught stealing office supplies. You, on the other hand, got caught stealing ideas.'

'We're able to cut back on legal fees by being more ethical.'

'We have to be forthright with the public. We have to have their confidence. We have to convince them we're working for the common good. Then we can invade their privacy.'

"Do you know that we saved a ton of money on legal fees by being more ethical?"

'Dayton, you're a decent, respectable, ethical, honest and nice guy. What the hell are you up to?'

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

"No offence Jon, but..."

'Taking bribes is understandable, Senator, but you really shouldn't keep billing records.'

"We could try reversing the drug's side effects with gene therapy, but we don't want to get into trouble with the SPCA."

The Ekert Saga: 'Let's put it this way...can you imagine how the world would be if everyone actually practiced hat they preach about following the 'golden rule'?

"We used to do business more transparently, but it was too disturbing."