Academic Ethics Enthusiast Gifts

'Is it still considered cheating when you copy test answers off someone who just gets average grades?'

Ethics exam cheater.

Squeezing the Free Press.

Others will fight for you

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

Scarcity

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

'Nothing about the evils of corporate downsizing?'

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

"Moulting"

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That's a wonderful mission statement.'

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

Max Weber

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

'You want a nurse present? -- Are you discriminating against me because of my gender?'

"I have to admit Dick Cheney makes a strong argument for torture. But I still think torturing him would be wrong."

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

'It's not the same. I was caught stealing office supplies. You, on the other hand, got caught stealing ideas.'