Ethics Enthusiast Gifts

"Remember, we can only afford to do all this pro bono because of how much anti bono pays."

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

'It's not the same. I was caught stealing office supplies. You, on the other hand, got caught stealing ideas.'

'We need a campaign to tell the public that we put social responsibility ahead of profits so we can make more profits.'

'We're able to cut back on legal fees by being more ethical.'

Ethics exam cheater.

Professor illustrating how to put social responsibility ahead of profits.

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'I know the difference between right and wrong, but it hasn't held me back.'

"Isn't it more important to learn how to be a decent human being?"

'Perhaps you could give him a touch of astigmatism. Kids with glasses are sooo cute!'

"Our scientists say it would be a public health hazard, but market research shows it would sell like hot cakes - what do you think?"

'We have to be forthright with the public. We have to have their confidence. We have to convince them we're working for the common good. Then we can invade their privacy.'

"I have no objection to alternative medicine so long as traditional medical fees are scrupulously maintained."

'Shall we allow a near-term consideration of 'ethics' to lower profit margins? . . . . I think we're better than that!'

'It's not a question of right or wrong, gentlemen! It's a question of, can we get away with it?'

'I don't actually do evil any more. I lobby congressmen.'

'Unethical? What do you mean, unethical?'

Great to see you! Give us a big hug!!' Doctors without Boundaries.

"After they've foudn a cure, will you continue in the field of medical research?"

"You might find the procedure a little uncomfortable. Just last week, Amnesty International tried to close us down."

"Remember, cheaters never prosper. Unless they're celebrities."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"The salary is unimportant—I'll just siphon off what I need."

'We have obligations to our stockholders, our employees and our community - Fortunately, Henderson in legal has found a loophole.'

"For questions of ethics we have Carl advising on what's permissible under the law and Bette advising on what a mother would do."

'If I wanted this done honestly and above reproach, I wouldn't need a lawyer!'

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

'Oh, it seems he found a way how we can outsmart the ethics committee!'

"Call the lawyers and ask if ethical and social responsibility is a legal requirement."

"I admit I fabricated data, but I didn't falsify any, and I didn't plagiarize."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

"Do you know that we saved a ton of money on legal fees by being more ethical?"

"About our shareholders of course."