Ethical Enthusiast Gifts

Make America Honest, Sane, Respected, Educated, Clean, Fair, Trustworthy, Decent and Giving Again!

'It has to be understandable, Higbe. A code of ethics is not actually to be written in code.'

Whistle-blower.

'I imagine you were pretty nervous addressing an army of experts.'

"I had ethical momentum, but I was unable to sustain it."

'Dayton, you're a decent, respectable, ethical, honest and nice guy. What the hell are you up to?'

"Well, there is one more procedure I've always wanted to try."

Arabian Buyer

'Timmie . . . deplored insider trading, but . . . such quibbles had to be kept in perspective.'

"Which is better: made in USA by illegal immigrants or made overseas by cheap labor?"

Others will fight for you

The Dilemma of a Whistle Blower

'I haven't talked to you about business ethics, have I?'

'I stay in shape by running from anti-fur activists.'

'Animal Rights'

The best place to rest your head is on a clear conscience.

'Remember, Junior, it's important to avoid any appearance of wrongdoing.'

'Gosh, it just breaks my heart to see someone so young and talented held back by his own chronic decency!'

'Next on Moral Issues Talk TV: should Venus fly traps who are vegetarians be considered cannibals and be banned in Red states?'

No animal testing!

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

Ethics exam cheater.

Squeezing the Free Press.

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

"Moulting"

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.