Bioethics Enthusiast Gifts

"They've found a design fault!"

Dr. Jarvik, and his lesser known invention, the artificial soul.

Ethics exam cheater.

Squeezing the Free Press.

Others will fight for you

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

"Moulting"

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

'You want a nurse present? -- Are you discriminating against me because of my gender?'

"I have to admit Dick Cheney makes a strong argument for torture. But I still think torturing him would be wrong."

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

'Yes, I'm fiercely opposed to stem cell research.'

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

'It's not the same. I was caught stealing office supplies. You, on the other hand, got caught stealing ideas.'

Ethics ethics.

'We're able to cut back on legal fees by being more ethical.'

'We have to be forthright with the public. We have to have their confidence. We have to convince them we're working for the common good. Then we can invade their privacy.'

"Do you know that we saved a ton of money on legal fees by being more ethical?"

'Dayton, you're a decent, respectable, ethical, honest and nice guy. What the hell are you up to?'

"Very nice résumé. Leave a sample of your DNA with my secretary."

'Taking bribes is understandable, Senator, but you really shouldn't keep billing records.'

"No movie deals, no endorsements, no product tie-ins..."