Medical Ethics Enthusiast Gifts

"It's fine to discover cures, but, remember, chronic conditions are our bread and butter."

'I'm afraid there's a big difference between Doctors Without Borders and Doctors Without Boundaries.'

'Fine, tell him he's going to make it. We'll just have to agree to disagree.'

'Hippocrates wraps up his first press conference...'

'I feel better already.'

'If the treatment is unsuccessful, do you give back the information I released?'

'Spirochetes are sentient beings Edward....'

'While we can't cure you, we can turn your disease into a long-term profitable condition...'

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

Organ Donation Clinic

"I'm afraid you'll have to have a BETTER reason for requesting a female doctor than 'because she's a bit of a babe.'"

"I trust our patient-doctor relationship won't be adversely affected."

"Sounds like a heart attack. Tell him to take two aspirin and call my office in the morning."

Euthanasia Clinic

"I'd like to start treatment with the least invasive, most billable medical options first."

"This new drug has been proving to be very effective for my bottom line."

"Hi. Were you Mrs. Hanson?"

"You're so much more than just another patient to me, Brian. . . you're also a potential organ donor for my dodgy liver."

"Do you mind if I put this on instagram?"

"Who knows? Maybe for another hundred bucks, that diagnosis could change."

"I don't doubt that she'd be delightfully surprised, but we can't do a facelift while she's in a coma."

'And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?'

"Scored these off the street in Panama—for you, twenty bucks." Doctors without borders or ethics

'Hippocrates - Father of Medicine' 'Bureaucracies - Father of H.M.O.s'

"Alright, alright - I PROMISE I won't get a second opinion."

'You want a nurse present? -- Are you discriminating against me because of my gender?'

NHS targets

"First and foremost, I'm a healer."

'As a patient I'm glad because the doctor cured me. As a lawyer I'm sad because there's no reason to sue that guy.'

Ethics exam cheater.

Squeezing the Free Press.

Others will fight for you

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."