Medical Ethics Advocate Gifts

"We're getting reports that doctors are getting burned out from trying to help their 
patients who can't afford their medications, so I've come up with a plan. We'll 
market a new drug to help with physician burnout!"

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

Slavery Reparations

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

'We're getting back to first principles...which means we're going to have some.'

Doctors Discussion

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"Is this your bright idea, Janet?"

Anonymous Donations

'You want a nurse present? -- Are you discriminating against me because of my gender?'

"Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake."

Stethoscope line.

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

'A doctor in the hospital's basement agonizes over the ethics of pulling the plug its ailing furnace.'

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

"Poverty is a social disease and it's not covered by your health insurance"

Euthanasia Clinic

NHS targets

'It says take all your medication - if you can afford it.'

"And if the golf area of the brain was somehow destroyed, there might be a little something extra in it for you."

Biblical Jewish Medical Ethics

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

'Don't worry, I haven't sued any patients. I got the J.D. as a deterrent to lawsuits!'

"Your health insurance doesn't cover what you've got...so I'm diagnosing you with something they do cover."

"I'm just checking eBay to see if there's any movement on that new liver you need."

"Those are muzzles for whistleblowers."

'Yes we can cure you - but the bigger problem now is: can you afford it?'

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

Cleaning Out the WildLife for New Residential Construction.

'Under disclosure rules, I'm required to tell you I own stock in the company whose

"Hey, way to go! You invented both the disease AND the cure!"

"We'd like you to be at breaking point seven days a week."

'And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?'

"But, for ten million bucks, would you lick it?"