Medical Ethics Buff Gifts

'Young man, haven't you ever heard of the Hippocratic Oath?'

"Do no harm not covered by your malpractice insurance."

Ethics exam cheater.

Squeezing the Free Press.

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

"Moulting"

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

Doctors Discussion

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

"I have to admit Dick Cheney makes a strong argument for torture. But I still think torturing him would be wrong."

'You want a nurse present? -- Are you discriminating against me because of my gender?'

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"Is this your bright idea, Janet?"

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

'It's not the same. I was caught stealing office supplies. You, on the other hand, got caught stealing ideas.'

'We're able to cut back on legal fees by being more ethical.'

"Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake."

'We have to be forthright with the public. We have to have their confidence. We have to convince them we're working for the common good. Then we can invade their privacy.'

Stethoscope line.

"Do you know that we saved a ton of money on legal fees by being more ethical?"

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

'A doctor in the hospital's basement agonizes over the ethics of pulling the plug its ailing furnace.'

'Taking bribes is understandable, Senator, but you really shouldn't keep billing records.'

"Poverty is a social disease and it's not covered by your health insurance"