Medical Ethics Ponderer Gifts

"And if the golf area of the brain was somehow destroyed, there might be a little something extra in it for you."

'We decided to recall our new drug because it causes lawsuits.'

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

The Price of Freedom

Doctors Discussion

"If anything else, it beats bending over!"

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

"These are the care instructions. And if things don’t work out, there’s a recipe on the back."

"Is this your bright idea, Janet?"

'You want a nurse present? -- Are you discriminating against me because of my gender?'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake."

Stethoscope line.

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

'A doctor in the hospital's basement agonizes over the ethics of pulling the plug its ailing furnace.'

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

Corruption trial in the Vatican

"Poverty is a social disease and it's not covered by your health insurance"

Surgical Self-Service

Euthanasia Clinic

NHS targets

30% Heredity, 70% Environment

Biblical Jewish Medical Ethics

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

"I may have waffled, but I never lip-synched."

'Don't worry, I haven't sued any patients. I got the J.D. as a deterrent to lawsuits!'

"Those are muzzles for whistleblowers."

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

"Right, we could go with the ethical decision, but let's not panic yet."

'Yes we can cure you - but the bigger problem now is: can you afford it?'

"You're in luck! Business ethics is a grey area, we're sending you back!"

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

"I'm just checking eBay to see if there's any movement on that new liver you need."