Medical Ethics Debater Gifts

Make him take about 16 of these a day until we feel better about what we're doing to him!

"Why carry malpractice insurance if you don't malpractice once in a while?"

"Is this your bright idea, Janet?"

Survival Thru Commodification

Dead body in coffin offers his heart for donation to the delight of a woman

"Poverty is a social disease and it's not covered by your health insurance"

"We don't have assisted suicide, but if you can convince the state you're a dog, we can euthanize you."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

'How do we SLEEP at night?'

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

The continuing adventures of Rex, Washington DC insider.

Jesus Christ, Health Insurance CEO

'It's the moral highground occupation force.'

Plant Parenthood...

'I recommend this to get rid of that stupid little voice whispering 'Don't forget to act ethical and responsible'!

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"When we tested this medication on dogs, nobody noticed any side effects."

Memory Content is King

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

'If you start granting amnesty for people for following their conscience, pretty soon everyone will be following his conscience.'

"Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake."

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

Man milks a book.

"Very nice résumé. Leave a sample of your DNA with my secretary."

"...And since the cure is worse than the disease, we can make more money by developing a cure for that!"

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'

Car number plate reads - 'My multi-national corporation right or wrong.'